More of me to love?

Yearly physical exam day.  Aka, The Shaming.

Dr: You’ve gained 20 lbs since September.

Me: I know.

Dr: (Deadly earnest.) Well, you know what you’ve gotta do.

Me: I know, I know. I’m starting next week.

Dr: Just make sure next week doesn’t keep turning into next week.

Me: Hey. Look. Gaining weight and losing weight are two things I do exceptionally well.

Dr: How about you come back in six months and prove it?

Me: A friendly wager might help motivate me.

Dr: All right. Get your weight down and I wager you’ll live longer.

Me: Was that a threat?

Dr: (Smirking and shaking his head, he turns back to his computer.) I don’t always understand your humor.

Me: Would it kill you to throw in a Starbucks gift card? Something?

Sigh

Watched one of the younglings at work pour her left over Fruity Pebbles down the kitchen sink. Not the garbage – the sink drain. Like that won’t come back to haunt us.

By the way, you’re not 10 years old. Why the hell are you eating Fruity Pebbles?

On the way back to my desk, a girl came up and said, “Heeeyyy! How’s it goin’ old man?  No, I mean, not “old” man. Why did I say that? I must be crazy.”

Then she hurried away.