Incidentally – is it me, or do all these lizards look the same? It’s like:

Me: “Is that Geoff, you know, the Luzon Lizard from yesterday?”
You: “What? No! That – that’s Carl, he’s the Komodo. With the shirt, you remember?”
Me: “Oh, in the hotel lobby, the talky one, right?”
You: “That was Frank, he’s a Gila. You – Frank doesn’t even look like a Komodo. He’s not even the same size. Or colour.”
Me: “He looks like a Luzon, though, right – I mean – right?”
You: “No.”
Me: “Really? Are you – I mean – are you messing with me? Because if you are – ”
You: “Two penises, Niall, count them.”
Me: “I don’t want to.”
You: “You’re a freaking idiot, you know that?”
Me: “Are those peanuts – you know – yours, did you pay for them? Because if they’re not, I could really – I’m hungry, are you hungry?”
You: “Fuck off.”
Me: “They’re not yours then? Oh hey, look, it’s Ray. Over there – no, that’s Geoff, definitely. Oh God, I wish he’d put those away.”

Etc.

You can keep the double penis, though. I think the practical implications of this genetic aberration are probably overrated.

That said, if he’s a good source of protein then it could be a triple win. You can kind of understand why he’s so popular with the locals (must be very hard to get a good credit rating on Luzon Island).