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Futurama, the greatest show of all time, returns to Comedy Central in June with all new episodes.

In honor of this occasion I present my top ten Futurama moments.

1.  In the first episode, Fry realizes that he’s woken up 500 years into the future.  “All of my friends and family . . . everyone I knew . . . they’re all gone.”  Slight pause.  “Woo-hoo!”

2.  Old Man Waterfall, who is being attacked by a giant crab monster, says, “You can crush my body but you can’t crush my spirit!”  Crab monster steps on Old Man Waterfall and we hear a frail voice cry, “Ow, my spirit!”

3.  Fry and Dr. Zoidberg are fighting to the death.  Zoidberg, always terrible at human anatomy, points at Fry’s neck and says, “I will crush him here, in the testicles.”  Fry looks at this friends and pleads, “Please, don’t anyone correct him.”

4.  The 80s guy is dying of from bone-itis.  His last words:  “My only regret is that I have bonitis.”

5.  Whenever Mom says, “Jam a squirrel in it, you ape!”

6.  Fry and Bender enlist in the army to get the army discount on gum.  Fry asks, “We can join for the gum discount and then just quit, right?”  Recruiter:  “That’s right.  Unless war were declared.”  Fry and Bender sign the papers.  An alarm sounds off.  Fry asks, “What’s that about?”  Recruiter:  “War were declared.”

7.  Earth defeats the aliens that look like giant bouncing balls.  The newspaper headline reads, “Earth Wins War!  Balls Thoroughly Licked!”

8.  Old Man Waterfall to Bender:  “Son, where I come from a robot is just a toaster with sparks comin’ out of it.”  Bender:  “The sparks keep me warm.”

9.  At the Bot-Mitzvah, Fry asks the robot rabbi if he believes in Robot Jesus.  Rabbi:  “We believe there was a Robot Jesus, and that he was a very well programed robot, but that he was not our messiah.”

10.  Fry is on the moon, chasing after a rescue ship.  The ship eludes him.  Angrily, he takes his space helmet and throws it on the ground.  He promptly collapses from lack of oxygen.

I actually picked these moments because they were easiest to communicate on paper.  Also, they were the best ones I could remember off hand.  Truth being, there are so many many more great Futurama moments.  Hopefully the new episodes won’t suck and there will be even more great Futurama moments to come.

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