I am way too obsessed with the game PAIN for the PS3.  What started out as a cheap network download has evolved into an uncontrollable addiction.  It’s very similar to a game I would play with my friends when I was a child.  We would line up plastic army men (cowboys, indians, astronauts, etc.) on one half of the room.  Then we would fire projectiles at them.  The harder to reach ones had a higher point value, of course.  PAIN is a cross between that and a large scale industrial accident.  You choose a character and then launch them at a fully interactive virtual world.  Physics takes over from there.

I downloaded a new character last week and he has since become my personal hero.  He’s a 1970′s blacksploitation martial arts film star named Brock Lee.  Here was my first endeavor with him.  I thought I would throw a little Brock surprise at the people on top of the building in the background.  The video quality is pretty horrible, but you’ll get the idea. 

Brock Lee in “Take No Prisoners!”

Yep.  It went a little differently than I had planned.

My next attempt was craftier.  I thought I would try to reach the top of the building by applying the ricochet approach.

Brock Lee in “Happy Trails.”

You can’t see Brock’s progression very well due to the crappy video quality.  But let’s just say that he finally got that oceanside vacation he had been wanting. 

Ok, I decided to give it one last try.  But what was initially an attempt to scale a building ended in a confrontation with a radioactive beaver.

Brock Lee in “Brock Lee VS Beaverzilla.”

My second favorite Pain character is none other than David Hasselhoff.  Here I offer my reenactment of Hasselhoff’s career.

Followed by a short I lovingly call, “Hoff goes for the Big “O”.

And, lastly, a Hoff clip with very strong Freudian overtones.

I’m like the guy who forces people to watch home movies of his vacations, but I can’t help it.  The whole video capture thing amuses me to no end so expect plenty more.  But only once I find out how to improve the video quality.  

I’m thinking of writing to the makers of the game with suggestions for their next celebrity character.  I would love to hurl Patrick Swayze into some buildings.  Of course, he’d have to say, “Pain don’t hurt.”  How perfect would that be?